Wednesday, September 7, 2011
BLACK PANTHER: EPISODES ELEVEN AND TWELVE
This is, uh, kind of embarrassing but I actually completely fell asleep in the middle of typing up last night's entry. Like straight up drooling, snoring sleep. It was a horrific sight.
I shoulda taken pictures. To make up for it, I promise to not post the Black Panther theme in this entry.
Let's get this party started, shall we?
So, Black Panther starts this episode straight up telling Klaw to kill his mother because he stone cold don't give a fuck, as he's gonna murderize Klaw anyway. T'Challa can be a royal prick sometimes. I will not apologize for that pun.
The credits role and Batroc makes jokes about kissing women and Klaw shoots lasers out of his hand, while T'Shawn and a flight attendant talk about banging Duder in his lady body. They don't know he is Duder, obviously. Or not so obviously. I would not put it past the creators of this show to make it likewise.
Meanwhile, Black Panther's mother beats up Klaw, the foxy bodyguards beat up Batroc, and Black Panther's Uncle gets his leg shot off by Klaw's magic laser hand. The show, at this point, has given up on story and goes straight for action. Poorly paced, poorly animated action.
Then we see Deathloks, Storm showing how boss she is, Nigandan soldiers get shot up, dogs and cats live together, and it may just be the apocalypse. I don't know how this can get better.
Oh wait, Klaw enters the internet. That's right, it turns into Hackers.
While Klaw is hacking the gibson, Shuri discovers the Ebony Blade of the Black Knight and is immediately better than him with it. Well, it's the Ebony Blade and well, Black Knight was a white guy, so I am failing to see the symbolism here. I do, however, really want to eat a black and white cookie.
Oh, and I was remiss, in previous entries to post about the theme made especially for the Black Panther's Flying Motorcycle. I will not post a clip of it here, it is something you really really need to hear. It is the catchiest song I think I have heard. That does not, however, make it good. It does, however, make it hilarious. We get to hear this theme again as Black Panther jacks into the internet and Storm destroys all the Deathloks.
I wish words could justify the insanity of the Black Panther/Klaw internet fight. You just, you just need to see it. I can however describe Shuri straight cutting Radioactive Man in half and his slo-mo fall into oblivion. It is straight absurdity. It leads to Duder stealing T'Shawn's body and more of the internet fight.
Anyway, Black Panther kills Klaw, Batroc the Leaper surrenders like a little bitch, and the remaining Deathloks totally pretend they were not there to take over but to help. Those crafty zombie soldiers!
We see Wakanda supervillain prison, there's lot of hugging, and the Black President talks street with T'Challa.
Oh, and SYKE